“Is the pork popular?” I asked a server. “Oh, yes, it’s one of my best sellers!” he replied, clearly not catching the amusement value of this fact. I was grabbing a late lunch at the Longworth Office Building in Washington, DC. Adjacent to the U.S. Capitol, this massive block of stone houses a multitude of Congressional offices, where dishing out pork is a time-honored activity.
On my previous tourist visit to Washington (an 8th grade Girl Scout trip), I had marveled at the marble Disneyland of federal monuments and memorials. This time, I wanted to get a real taste of Washington power – not the official seats of power, but unofficial ones, in eating places and bars – where secrets, favors and phone numbers are traded across the table.
Thankfully, my rapier-sharp wit had not been considered hazardous as I passed through the airport-style security checkpoint just inside the Longworth building’s Independence Avenue door. I was greeted by a massive placard listing all the Congressional office locations, but nothing indicated the whereabouts of the food court, reputedly a prime hangout for staffers and Reps – in addition to lobbyists and other assorted riff-raff like me.
I wandered the Longworth’s halls a bit. There were the committee rooms where much of Congress’ heavy lifting is done. Then I spied some of the individual offices, and was stymied for a moment trying to recall what they reminded me of. Doors were adorned with state seals, slogans, mascots, messages, flags – yes – I had it! It felt rather like I was walking down the hallway of a classy university dorm.
Spying a couple of staffers carrying salads, I asked where the cafeteria was. “In the basement; you can’t miss it,” they directed. Turning left out of the elevator, I first spotted a Starbucks outpost (Venti latte just $3.50!) and a Dreyer’s ice cream shop. Then across the hallway, the vast food court beckoned. A signpost near the entrance touted the “Value Breakfast” ($2.25) – for champions of a balanced budget, I assumed.
Dining options included Austin Blues BBQ home of the popular pulled pork (sandwich, $4.25; as an entrée with two sides, $5.75); Pazzo’s Pizza by the slice; Casa Ortega Mexican; National Deli; Kwai Chinese; Grand Chicken Station; Farmer’s Table, with daily specials like lasagna ($4.50) and trout ($4.75); a salad bar with over 40 toppings, and a soup station. I decided on a small House Bean Soup ($1.50), the famous recipe that’s been served up for years in the more formal Members’ Dining Room of the Capitol. The white bean soup was a bit bland and watery, but had plenty of chunks of lean ham (more pork, I noted).
The post-lunch hour crowd was thinning out, so I settled in at a table adjacent to a slickly dressed trio, hoping to overhear a little power gossip. The alpha male was holding forth, bemoaning the fact that he’d “Googled” his name on the Internet and had only found three entries, one being a mention in his wife’s bio. His wife, I learned, was the acting head of a national endowment (she had been directed by the powers that be to revise her bio, specifically noting that she was appointed by George W. Bush), and the gentleman himself had recently managed to “spend a half-hour with the President.” Pondering this feat, he asked his audience of two, “What if every American got to spend five minutes with the President; how long would it take?” They tossed this one around for a few moments, but no one seemed eager to do the math. (Or maybe, as lobbyists, this thought was just too horrifying.)
As I emerged from the Longworth Building, and headed toward the Capitol, I met with a stream of Congresspersons heading back from the afternoon’s session. Some scurried, while others paused to slap backs and palaver in the spring sunshine. Busy aids, cell phones glued to their heads, fluttered alongside.
Moving up several notches in ambiance, I met a local pal, David, in the lobby of the Willard Hotel. "This hotel,” Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote while covering the Civil War, “may be much more justly called the center of Washington and the Union than either the Capitol, The White House, or the State Department…You exchange nods with governors of sovereign states; you elbow illustrious men, and tread on the toes of generals…”
The Willard brags that every president, since Franklin Pierce has paid a visit to the hotel. Due to assassination threats, Abraham Lincoln spent more a than week there prior to his inauguration in 1861, holding staff meetings in front of the lobby fireplace. The Willard was also the favorite hangout for President Ulysses S. Grant. Almost every day, he’d escape the Oval Office to relax in the lobby with a brandy and a cigar, entertaining the supplications of those who came to be known as – you guessed it – lobbyists. Other guests have included over 70 heads of state, and celebrities like Mark Twain, Walt Whitman, PT Barnum, Mae West and Harry Houdini.
Today the Willard is a sparkling luxury hotel, without the least remnant of cigar haze in its elegant, bustling lobby. We had a drink in the small bar, but conversations amongst the tourist and business crowd were as dull as the peanuts in the nut bowl. Alas, there were no illustrious men to elbow or generals’ toes to tread on.
Onward to the Occidental Grill, just down the block. A flock of shiny, black, VIP cars hugged the curb outside, but these guests must have been secreted away in one of the private rooms. The long downstairs bar was empty – we were a bit early for the hard-working crowd – so we pulled up our stools and eyeballed the 2,000 or so portraits plastering the walls. The Occidental opened 96 years ago, building up its slogan, “Where Statesmen Dine,” while the owner collected autographed photos from his customers.
While the original restaurant was demolished in 1979 and rebuilt in 1986, the photo collection lives on. These portraits represent the famous (Buffalo Bill Cody, Winston Churchill, Amelia Earhardt, Thomas Edison, a slew of presidents) and the formerly famous (two old-time aviators in jodhpurs peered out at us, perhaps thirsting for a martini). Colin, the amiable bartender, wandered over to join in our guessing game. “I can name about 300 of them,” he said, “But there are a lot of obscure politicians from the ‘20s and ‘30s.” We duly noted the transient nature of power as we passed by the large paintings of Bush One, Bush Two and Ronald Regan now dominating the door.
Not far from the Occidental is another standby, the Old Ebbitt Grill. Like the Occidental, the Old Ebbitt has gone through renovations and reincarnations in its 146 years. But while pictures of men dominate the former, women are the key focus of the Old Ebbitt’s art collection. Large, saloon-style paintings featuring naked ladies (no doubt of dubious reputation) grace the walls. They lounge languorously on bearskin rugs, gazing seductively from over the rear bar, stairwell and other prime people-watching spots. I reflected on how both watering holes cater to the male ego – one by honoring their faces, the other by honoring their libidos. Both also belong to the old school of polished wood and brass, though the Occidental is more upscale.
Ask anyone, and they’ll tell you to stick to items like hamburgers at the Ebbitt; it’s not exactly a culinary trendsetter. Skipping the food, we inspected the main bar, locating two carved wooden bears that supposedly belonged to Alexander Hamilton and some of Teddy Roosevelt’s many hunting trophies. In addition to “TR,” Presidents Grant, Cleveland and Harding were customers here. Alas, the noise level was too high to catch any juicy political gossip of the modern sort. But a dedicated power groupie could potentially hit gold by hanging out here until the tourists have gone home to soak their feet, leaving the hardcore District denizens to drink and network.
If you really want to wade into deep political watering holes, though, head for Pennsylvania Avenue, which takes a southeast diagonal from the Capitol. Here you’ll find a strip of mostly scruffy bars that cater to Congressional staffers as well as their bosses. We bypassed Politiki, the Tune Inn and the Capitol Lounge, to settle in at the Hawk ‘n’ Dove.
The Hawk is such a part of DC lore that a scene for “The West Wing” TV series was shot here. Décor tends toward the usual animal heads and political memorabilia, which probably starts to look less tattered after a few beers. You’ll find pub grub, the centerpiece of which is the half-pound Hawk Burger ($7.50) – as greasy-good as the service was nasty-bad. I firmly believe we were seated next to Russian spies, but unfortunately I don’t know the language so it was “nyet” on eavesdropping. The crowd was young, the scene intense, the sports trophies dusty.
Now, for those who might feel the need to redeem themselves after all this drinking and eating, there’s another seat of power you can visit. That would be pew number 54 at St. John’s Episcopal Church, just across Lafayette Square from the White House. This is the pew traditionally reserved for the president and first family. Every U.S. president since James Madison has worshipped at this historic church, and you’ll see kneeling cushions needlepointed with some of the more recent names – though a Bill Clinton cushion is nowhere in sight!
© 2002 Gayle Keck
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I wanted to get a real taste of Washington power...where secrets,
favors and phone numbers are traded across the table.
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